“You don’t have to be at your limit to deserve support.”
I came across this quote recently, and it made me pause.
Because if I’m honest… I often don’t seek support until I am at my limit.
But that raises a bigger question:
Do you even know what your limit feels like?
I know for me, I don’t always notice until I’m already close.
The Cliff We Don’t See Coming
When I think about the word limit, it feels like a cliff.
Not always a dramatic fall.
Sometimes it’s much more subtle.
You’re standing close to the edge.
A little unsteady.
Not fully grounded.
You’re still functioning… but something feels off.
You’re still getting things done… but it takes more effort than usual.
And if I’m being honest, I don’t always recognize it right away myself.
Sometimes I’m already standing at the edge before I realize how close I’ve gotten.
How I Know I’m Getting Close to My Edge
For me, it doesn’t show up all at once. It starts with small shifts:
- I can’t handle “peopling” and want to retreat
- Noise starts to feel overwhelming (emails, social media, the news)
- I feel stuck, even when I have helpful information
- My body starts speaking – headaches, low energy, feeling run down
- My patience and energy both feel thin
When these show up together, I know I’m getting closer to my edge, even if nothing major has happened.But I’m closer to my limit than I realized.
That’s usually my cue to pause and check in.
Why This Matters More Than Ever
We’re living in a time of ongoing uncertainty, personally, professionally, and globally.
And uncertainty doesn’t always show up loudly.
It quietly drains our mental and emotional reserves.
As psychologist Tessa West describes, it can feel like a “ping-pong situation,” one day things feel steady, the next they don’t.
I notice this in myself:
Some days I feel grounded and clear.
Other days, I feel stretched thin without any clear reason why.
That’s why regular check-ins matter.
Not when we’ve fallen off the cliff…
But when we’re simply getting closer to the edge.
A Gentle Check-In
This is exactly why I created a simple 2-minute snapshot quiz, honestly, I needed something like this for myself.
It started as something I needed for myself, a way to step outside my own thoughts and ask:
- Where am I right now?
- Am I steady?
- Am I stretched?
- Am I nearing my limit?
Sometimes I take it and realize I’m doing better than I thought.
Other times, it gently reminds me to slow down.
This isn’t a diagnosis.
It’s simply a mirror, and a place to begin.
What I Do When I’m Near My Limit
When I notice I’m getting close to my edge, I try not to wait until I’m completely depleted.
Instead, I come back to a few simple resets:
1. I Give Myself Permission to Say No
If I feel hesitant, I take that as information.
Sometimes I reschedule. Sometimes I cancel (yes, even Pilates).
2. I Take a Break from the Noise
I put my phone on silent.
I step away from email.
Even small pauses, like unloading the dishwasher or taking a short walk, help reset my nervous system.
3. I Listen to My Body
Rest, movement, nourishing food, usually I need a mix of all three.
I try to follow that instead of pushing through.
4. I Choose One Small Action
Sometimes I’ll pick something simple, whatever feels supportive in the moment.
Because often… I already know what I need.
I just need to listen.
One thing I sometimes turn to is the Action for Happiness monthly calendar, which offers simple daily ideas for gentle movement and well-being. I don’t worry about following the exact day, I just choose whatever catches my eye in the moment.
The Hardest Part: Asking for Support
If I’m honest, this is still the hardest step for me.
I can encourage others all day long…
but holding up that same mirror for myself is a work in progress.
Even with all the tools, I still have moments where I feel close to the edge.
And that’s when I remind myself:
Support isn’t a last resort.
It’s part of staying steady.
Sometimes the most supportive thing I can do is simply admit:
“I’m closer to the edge than I thought.”
There’s something powerful about naming it.
A Gentle Reflection
So let me ask you:
Where are you right now?
- Steady?
- Stretched?
- Near your edge?
You don’t have to wait until you’re at your limit to check in.
Even a small moment of awareness can shift everything, and you don’t have to do it alone.
