March 20 is the International Day of Happiness, a United Nations observance that recognizes happiness and wellbeing as universal human goals. This year, Action for Happiness is also highlighting happiness and social media, inviting us to reflect on whether what we consume is supporting our wellbeing or slowly draining it.
I love the intention behind this day. But I also think there is an honest truth that does not get talked about enough:
Sometimes we do not even know what makes us happy anymore.
Not because something is wrong with us.
Not because we are failing.
But because many of us, especially parents, caregivers, helpers, and deeply responsible people, spend so much of our time making sure everyone else is okay that we slowly lose touch with ourselves.
We become the one others count on.
We anticipate needs.
We hold things together.
We create comfort, joy, and stability for everyone around us.
And then one day someone says: Take some time to do what makes you happy.
And instead of feeling inspired, you feel blank.
Because the honest answer might be: I do not even know what that is anymore.
If that resonates, you are not alone.
Sometimes happiness does not feel far away because we are doing life wrong. Sometimes it feels far away because we have been in caregiving mode, productivity mode, or survival mode for so long that our own joy, desire, and aliveness got pushed to the side.
That is why I think World Happiness Day can be more than a cheerful reminder.
It can be a gentle invitation back to yourself.
Happiness is not just one thing
In psychology, happiness is often described in two broad ways.
Hedonic happiness is the kind that feels good in the moment, pleasure, comfort, enjoyment, fun, ease, relief.
Eudaimonic happiness is the kind that feels meaningful, living in alignment with your values, growing as a person, contributing in a way that matters, and feeling connected to a deeper sense of purpose.
Both matter.
We need lightness.
We need delight.
We need moments that simply feel good.
And we also need meaning.
We need depth.
We need to feel connected to what is real and life-giving.
Sometimes what we call happiness is really just a quick break from stress. And sometimes it is something deeper, a sense of being connected, aligned, and fully ourselves.
That distinction matters, especially for people who have spent years caring for others.
Because when you are disconnected from yourself, What makes me happy? can feel like too big a question.
A softer place to begin might be:
What brings me relief?
What helps me exhale?
What feels nourishing?
What feels meaningful?
What helps me feel more like myself again?
When you’ve spent your life making others happy:
For many parents and caregivers, happiness becomes something we create for other people.
We make the day special.
We hold the emotional weight.
We remember the details.
We think ahead.
We keep things moving.
And that is loving. But over time, it can leave very little room to ask:
What fills me up?
What brings me alive?
What feels meaningful to me?
Sometimes the issue is not that you are unhappy.
It is that you have become so focused on other people’s needs that you no longer know what fills your own soul.
That realization can feel tender. But it can also be powerful. Because awareness creates choice.
And maybe that is the deeper invitation of World Happiness Day, not to pressure yourself into feeling happier, but to begin rebuilding a relationship with your own joy, meaning, and inner knowing.
What supports happiness?
There is no single formula for happiness, but some themes show up again and again.
Connection matters. Kindness matters. Meaning matters.
Supportive relationships, caring for others, and living in alignment with your values all support wellbeing in different ways. And this year’s focus on social media and happiness adds another important layer. Social media can connect us, inspire us, and help us feel less alone. But it can also leave us depleted, distracted, overstimulated, or caught in comparison.
That is why this reflection feels so relevant right now.
Not because happiness should be another thing to achieve. But because many of us need permission to pause and notice what is actually nourishing us, and what is not.
A gentler way to begin
I do not think happiness always starts with becoming more positive. Sometimes it starts with becoming more honest.
Honest about how long you have been running on empty.
Honest about how often you take care of everyone else before yourself.
Honest about the fact that you may have become so practiced at helping, producing, and holding that you have not had much space to ask what truly nourishes you.
Maybe happiness starts there.
Not in forcing positivity.
Not in pretending everything is fine.
Not in chasing a perfect life.
But in gently asking:
What do I enjoy, simply because I enjoy it?
What feels like pleasure, delight, or ease?
What feels meaningful, grounding, or deeply nourishing?
When do I feel most like myself?
What helps my body soften and my heart open?
Maybe the answer is simple.
A quiet cup of coffee.
Music in the kitchen.
A walk without your phone.
Sun on your skin.
Time near water.
A real laugh.
A few minutes alone.
A journal.
A prayer.
A creative moment.
A deep breath.
These moments matter. Not because they solve everything. But because they help you remember yourself.
They are clues.
They are breadcrumbs.
They are a way back to yourself.
Start smaller than “What makes me happy?”
If you do not know what makes you happy right now, let that be okay. You do not need a perfect answer. You can begin smaller than that.
Notice what softens your body. Notice what gives you energy instead of draining it. Notice what feels light, real, or meaningful. Notice where you feel pressure, and where you feel peace.
Sometimes happiness is not one big revelation. Sometimes it is a quiet process of returning.
Returning to your preferences.
Returning to your values.
Returning to your body.
Returning to the parts of yourself that got buried under responsibility.
And that return matters. Because your happiness matters too.
Not only the happiness you create for others.
Not only the comfort you provide.
Not only the roles you fill.
Yours.
A Gentle Reflection to begin your day.
This year for World Happiness Day, maybe ask yourself:
What feels good?
That is part of happiness.
What feels meaningful?
That is part of happiness too.
And if you do not know yet, maybe the practice is simply staying open long enough to find out.
“Maybe happiness is not one big revelation. Maybe it is a quiet process of returning.”
If this reflection speaks to you, take a few quiet minutes today to ask yourself:
What fills me up, even a little?
Start there.
And if you are feeling disconnected from yourself and ready to create more calm, clarity, and inner alignment, I would be honored to support you.
