Have you ever seen the movie About a Boy?
It’s one of my favorite movies, and a picture I took recently while on vacation immediately made me think of it.
At the beginning of the movie, Will, played by Hugh Grant, believes he is an island. He is alone, self-sufficient, and only needs to worry about himself. His life revolves around him and him alone.
Then he unexpectedly becomes friends with a 12-year-old boy named Marcus. Little by little, Will develops connections. He has people. People begin to matter to him. And his perspective changes.
By the end of the movie, he says:
“Every man is an island. I stand by that. But clearly some men are island chains. Underneath, they are connected…”
I have always loved that line.
And standing on a beach recently, looking out at a little island, it took on another meaning for me.
Sometimes the Connection Is Hidden
At low tide, you can actually walk out to the island.
What looks completely separate from the mainland really isn’t separate at all. When the tide changes, a path appears.
It made me wonder:
How often do we feel like an island simply because we can’t see the path connecting us to everyone else?
There have definitely been times in my life when I have felt like an island. Of course, I had people who loved me and people I could turn to. But that didn’t change the fact that, in those moments, I felt alone.
I remember times as a mom when I was struggling in my relationship with my kids.
The constant worry about them. The self-doubt and wondering if I was doing it right. The intense love you feel for your children and that deep desire to somehow make sure they are going to be okay.
And in the middle of all of that, thinking:
No one could possibly understand how this feels.
So I pulled inward. I self-isolated a little. I stayed on my island.
Sometimes We Need Our Island
And honestly, sometimes we need that.
Sometimes we need to strengthen our own little island. We need quiet. We need to fill our own cup. We need time to reconnect with ourselves and remember what we need, what we value, and what keeps us grounded.
Especially when we spend so much of our time caring for other people.
But I eventually realized that staying on my island wasn’t what helped me most.
What helped was reaching out to a friend. Talking to someone I loved. Allowing myself to say out loud what I was carrying and letting someone else simply listen.
And each time I did, I was reminded:
I’m not actually alone in this.
It was almost as if the tide went out and suddenly I could see the path that had been there all along.
The island hadn’t changed.
The connection had always been there.
I just couldn’t see it for a while. Are You an Island?
We Are Part of an Island Chain
And maybe that is what I love most about the quote from About a Boy.
We are each our own island in some ways. We each have our own experiences, our own worries, our own inner world. And taking care of that island matters.
But we are also part of an island chain.
Underneath, we are connected.
To our friends. Our families. Our communities.
The people who listen.
The people who show up.
The people who remind us that we don’t have to figure everything out by ourselves.
Sometimes those connections are easy to see.
And sometimes the tide rises, life feels heavy, and we forget they are there.
That’s when we may need to wait for low tide—or reach out and help create it.
To let someone in.
To make the phone call.
To say, I’m having a hard time.
To allow the path between our island and the mainland to become visible again. Are You an Island?
Take Care of Your Island—But Remember the Mainland
So yes, take care of your island.
Spend time there. Strengthen it. Know yourself and nurture yourself.
But remember Will’s realization, too:
You are not just an island. You are part of an island chain.
And even when you can’t see it, underneath, you are connected. Are You an Island?
